The Climate of Harrogate

The climate of Harrogate's pure,
Renowned for its wonderful dryness,
And its fine Corporation, I'm sure,
On this point have little of shyness.
They properly crack up their town,
And the wonderful things you can see there,
They broadcast abroad its renown,
Till everyone's wishful to be there.

The water is practically free,
Their great Corporation supply it,
The whisky is splendid
(N.B. They don't supply that, you must buy it).
The rainfall is usually low,
And sunshine is very extensive,
But, nevertheless, you must know,
Umbrellas are beastly expensive.

They're healthy, the people you see,
And die – well, they all feel they couldn't,
And I'll mention between you and me,
If it wasn't for doctors they wouldn't;
Of their promenades everyone talks,
They're great, if you're wanting an airin'
There are eight miles of smooth gravel walks
For a person to shove a bath–chair in.

The Authorities claim that the place
Is drained well and perfectly sewered,
I believe it is really the case,
No residents' lives are insured;
They all of them, there, live so long,
That, though at first blush it seems funny,
To keep paying premiums is wrong,
It's simply a waste of your money.

Doctor Parr, who lived quite a long time,
Spent many a sunset and dawn there,
Methuselah gave it his prime,
And old Johnnie Walker was born there.
I could sing of its virtues for hours,
Its climate gives joy and elation,
For further details of its powers
Apply to the Town Corporation.